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Financial counselors as agents of change

Most families disagree at times about how money should be spent, but these disagreements usually arise from specific situations and aren't ultimately destructive to family relationships. In some families, however, serious conflict over money is chronic and may even destroy family unity and functioning. In these families, money symbolizes control, real decisionmaking authority in family: " He who has the gold rules. "

Conversely, " he who lacks the gold " often feels powerless and dependent. It's not uncommon for people who perceive themselves as powerless to try to assert power through destructive behavior. For example, numerous studies show that wife abuse may be an attempt on part of husbands who lack self-esteem or economic resources to assert authority over family's life.

There's also some evidence that abuse of the elderly is related to financial dependence of abuser upon abused ( Pillemer, 1985 ) and that financial counselors may be uniquely qualified to help families understand the destructive -- and constructive -- impact that financial management practices can have on families caring for an elderly relative. Yet elder abuse literature has generally ignored contribution that financial counselors can make in alleviating abusive situations in families in which an elderly parent or relative lives with a caregiving adult child. Neither have " best practice " models of adult protective services incorporated financial counselors as members of multi-disciplinary teams designed to help families deal with problems, stress and/or deviance that can lead to incidents of abuse.

When Elder Is Abusive

While the financial dependence of an adult child who is a caregiver -- especially one who suffers from addiction or mental illness -- may be a factor in elder abuse, an elder's real or perceived financial dependence on a car can also be a problem.

According to a study conducted by Doctor Suzanne K. Steinmetz of University of Delaware, by far most significant predictor of abusive behaviors toward caregivers by dependent elderly in study was a belief by elderly that their financial dependence caused family stress -- even though almost 80% of caregivers reported no stress resulting from elder's financial dependence. This finding isn't surprising, considering that elderly have lived for decades in a society in which self-esteem is measured, in large part, by monetary worth. Many frail elderly people spent their lifetimes providing for themselves and their children, making financial decisions, and managing financial resources. Now they may find that this function has been usurped by caregiving children, or even that their children have commingled their resources, such as Social Security checks, into their own accounts. This practice is encouraged by tax code because if caregiving adult children pool resources with parent who lives with them, it may be easier to claim parent as a dependent and reap tax advantage than it would be if parent kept his or her finances separate and paid their own support. While this may be a financially sound practice for family, it may increase elder's feelings of economic powerlessness and dependency. The elder, however, may be reluctant to discuss these feelings, not wanting to appear ungrateful for the family's emotional and financial support. Or, if an elder does discuss them, the adult children may brush away comments, not wanting their parents to feel they're a burden on family. The elder's feelings of dependence and powerlessness may turn into resentment, which manifests itself as abusive or controlling behavior. Meanwhile, neither the adult children nor elderly parent may fully understand root cause of the behavior.

A Role for Financial Counselors

Financial counselors are quite different from financial planners. Financial planners market to clients who have cash to invest, assets to reposition, or specific needs for financial products ( such as life insurance ) . In general, financial planners prefer to work with clients who have sizeable assets, and they seek to establish a long-term relationship. Financial counselors, on the other hand, usually work with clients on a short-term basis to resolve an immediate financial crisis or a specific financial problem. While financial planner gives advice and often makes decisions for client, financial counselor recognizes that individual and/or family behaviors often lie behind financial problem and that behavioral change is necessary for client to begin making " better " financial decisions for him or herself and/or the family unit. Currently, financial counselors are employed by military, credit unions, state extension services, consumer credit counseling agencies and employee assistance programs. A few universities are beginning to graduate students in accredited financial counseling programs, and it's anticipated that this will be a growth field in the future.

The financial counselor is ideally suited to explore the symbolic and psychological meanings of money and economic independence with all family members. If all members can realize that financial management may be more than a matter of what is expedient, that it can be viewed as a controlling mechanism whether it is actually used that way or not, then it is possible for them to understand abusive behaviors as a means of reacting against real or perceived powerlessness. Financial counselors can offer assistance in a number of ways. They can:

* Help families to recognize role that money plays in family conflicts and that issue may be just as much about feelings of self-esteem as about how the bills get paid.

* Guide communication about emotionally charged issues, helping to ensure that underlying problems are discussed in a focused, constructive manner. For example, family caregivers mayn't be aware of attitudes they're communicating to their elderly parents. Once these concerns are voiced openly and honestly, hidden resentments that appear to lead to the elder's abusive behavior can be reduced.

* Help families find ways to handle elder's finances to increase elder's feelings of control and self-esteem, without straining the economic resources of the family. These methods might include using low-cost community services or establishing a living trust that provides the elder with economic security and family with certain tax advantages.

Unfortunately, it is unlikely that caregiving families or caseworkers faced with an abusive elderly member will seek help directly from a financial counselor. ( This is also true in cases in which a financially dependent adult child is abusing an elderly parent. Because " best practice " models have ignored the contribution that financial counselors can make in alleviating abusive situations, social service personnel mayn't be aware of possible benefits of financial counseling. Adult protective services agencies should reach out to financial counseling community, particularly when organizing multi-disciplinary teams.

For further information on financial or other kinds of elder abuse, contact Clearinghouse on Abuse and Neglect of Elderly CANE ) at ( 302 ) 831-3525.

An associate professor, Karen F. Stein is Chair of Department of Textiles, Design and Consumer Economics at University of Delaware and Director of The Clearinghouse on Abuse and Neglect of Elderly ( CANE ) .

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